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Alan Cerny

Alan Cerny has been writing about film for more than 20 years for such sites as Ain't It Cool News, CHUD, Birth Movies Death, and ComingSoon. He has been a member of the Houston Film Critics Society since 2011. STAR WARS biased. Steven Spielberg once called Alan a "very good writer," and Alan has the signed letter to prove it, so it must be true.

Why be one movie when you can be twelve? Who cares if it makes sense; just stuff them all in there. Stick Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Mummy, The African Queen, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a bunch of other movies in a blender, and there you have it. Therein lies the problem with …

Read More about Jungle Cruise Review: Disney’s Big Screen Adaptation

The Quest is one of the most well-established story tropes in fiction, going all the way back to Chaucer and The Canterbury Tales and even further. It is not the destination but the journey that guides and dictates the story, as a wanderer learns of their destiny and their place in the world. All storytelling …

Read More about The Green Knight Review: David Lowery’s Epic Fantasy Adventure

Franchise movies with the word origins in the title don’t have the best track record of quality, but that doesn’t stop studios from making them; a case in point is Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins, which promises to tell the backstory of the fan-favorite character from the GI Joe animated series and Hasbro toy line. …

Read More about Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins Review

Marvel Studios can call Black Widow a Phase IV movie in their Cinematic Universe if they want, but with the exception of the obligatory post-credit scene, this movie is Phase III all the way. You could slot Black Widow right after Captain America: Civil War or right after Doctor Strange, and it would fit perfectly. …

Read More about Black Widow Movie Review: One of the Better MCU Entries

With F9 (and let’s face it, this series is just a harbinger of what is to come – all our movies will eventually become mere letters and numbers, like some strange form of Bingo. I am especially excited to see K6, A17, and W23 sometime in the near future) the Fast & Furious franchise has …

Read More about F9 Review: Is the Latest Fast & Furious Film Up to Speed?

When last we saw the Abbott family in A Quiet Place, Evelyn (Emily Blunt), Regan (Millicent Simmonds), and Marcus (Noah Jupe) had figured out a way to fight back against the aliens that had invaded Earth. While the blind aliens were able to track their prey through sound, excessive aural feedback caused them to open …

Read More about A Quiet Place Part II Review: The Abbott Family Is Back

When it comes to my personal taste in musicals, I can sum it up in a phrase: “Go big or go home.” Movie musicals play with huge emotions, a sweeping grandeur of elegant conflict that can only be expressed through music, song, and dance; full of bodies moving in unison, and what begins as a …

Read More about In the Heights Review: Beautiful and Wonderful

When it comes to crime films, Guy Ritchie has a distinctive style. Most of them are about a group of British lads who manage to stumble into a situation that could either make them a lot of money or get a lot of them killed, but through tenacity, bravado, and the occasional odd circumstance, they …

Read More about Wrath of Man Review: Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham Reunite

Pixar films, at their best, are wildly imaginative, speaking to children and adults alike. On paper, most Pixar films have basic scenarios with complex themes – toys that come to life or the monsters under the bed become surrogates for parenthood; a family of superheroes gives way to themes of isolation, self-worth, and our place …

Read More about Soul Review: The New Pixar Film Coming to Disney+

It is perhaps fitting that, like the rest of us right now living through (gesticulating wildly) All This, Bill S. Preston, Esquire (Alex Winter), and Ted “Theodore” Logan (Keanu Reeves) in Bill and Ted Face the Music are pining for simpler, happier times. After all, their greatest moments were 25 years ago, when they saw …

Read More about Bill and Ted Face the Music Review

Judd Apatow has a long history of “Lovable Losers” in his work. All the way from Freaks and Geeks to The 40-Year-Old Virgin, even in films like This Is 40 and Trainwreck, Apatow tells stories about broken, juvenile characters who are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the real world. Apatow’s also been accused of glossing …

Read More about The King of Staten Island Review

Spring, 1987. I’m a senior in high school. I’m sitting in the back seat of my friend Bill’s lime-green Chevy Nova. We’re in the parking lot of a Kroger’s, and we’re all a little drunk. Some of us more than others; we’ve been drinking beers, and right before we left the party at Heather’s house, …

Read More about Beastie Boys Story Review: The Apple TV+ Documentary

There are particular buttons in a movie that, when I see them, automatically elicit an emotional response. It’s Pavlovian – if you make a movie about fathers and sons, for example, I am almost certain to react with tears. It’s just hardwired into my moviegoing DNA. Thus, Pixar Animation Studios’ Onward was almost guaranteed to make …

Read More about Onward Review: Pratt and Holland Go on a Fantasy Quest

Horror, more than any other genre, it seems, has its hand directly on the pulse of the here and now. It has to be – our fears are changing and evolving, even while those base instincts remain the same. Our monsters may come with different, more modern costumes, but they are still monsters. The Invisible …

Read More about The Invisible Man Review: As Disturbing as It Is Frightening

Serious fans of Jack London’s The Call of the Wild novel will likely be disappointed in the latest adaptation by 20th Century Studios (formerly 20th Century Fox, now owned by Disney, and one of Fox’s final productions). The novel is surely dated and somewhat problematic now, with its treatment of North American indigenous people and the …

Read More about The Call of the Wild Review: Come for the Dog, Stay for Ford

A funny thing happened on the way to my press screening of Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (and if you think I’m typing that title full-on again in this review, well, we’ll see how the word count goes), and I blame myself entirely. I didn’t know that Birds of Prey …

Read More about Birds of Prey Review: Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn Is Back

January tends to be a dumping ground for movies. Everyone’s wrapped up in awards talk, and studios are busy pushing their films for Oscar consideration. Sometimes, as a critic, I wonder if studios can walk and chew gum at the same time, much less release a big-budget action film in January while trying to navigate …

Read More about Bad Boys for Life Review: Will Smith and Martin Lawrence Are Back!

As someone who was there at the beginning of that fateful summer of 1977, I’ve ridden the highs and the lows of the Star Wars saga over the years. During that time, there have been, shall we say, some truths I’ve clung to that depended greatly on my own point of view. I’ve reevaluated these films …

Read More about Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Review